Now that we have established the definition in the essence of the true love of God, it is only appropriate to see how it is applied in our every day lives.
Loving yourself and others:
I must wake up every morning knowing that as a believer I am a free child of God through Christ Jesus while equipped with the power of His Holy Spirit who enables me to love God, myself and others with the same love. I am eternally loved, secure and confident in my position in Christ which I can NEVER loose. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39), but it is a daily exercise for me to remember my position in order to abide in His love today.
My dear wife who is also my best ever friend pointed out a few days ago that I am way too impatient with myself. The contrast between all the grace and forgiveness I am able and willing to give others, most of the time, and complete lack of thereof when it comes to my own failings is staggering according to her. The truth of her statement hit me like a ton of bricks putting my entire being into a halt. I felt speechless, convicted and then thankful that God has given me a suitable helper willing and able to love me enough to tell me the truth. You see, God, out of His infinite love for me, gave me my bride to minister to my needs and me to hers in full accordance with His will. That is why it was not hard for me to swallow my pride that immediately raised its ugly head after being convicted. We both have been learning and practicing God’s unconditional love for ourselves and others and encouraging one another in the process. It is not always easy. In that very moment of conviction I made a conscious decision to love myself by recognizing that it did come from God, and accepting His love in the truth about me. Neither of those things are possible without first, the Holy Spirit’s initiating the message of conviction in love, and second, without the obedience of the messenger and the hearer in the same love while under the power and control of the Holy Spirit.
When abiding in His love I am able to forgive myself in the moment of my weakness. I must accept His grace for myself when I fall. It is not because I view my sin lightly, but because having God’s love in me requires me to forgive me, otherwise, I put myself on the throne of judgement, rendering the blood of Christ ineffective as the payment for my sin, and thus violating Romans 8:35-39 by separating me from the love of Christ. As a mature believer I do not dwell in my sin. I must be diligent in listening to The Holy Spirit’s conviction which prompts me to recognize my sin, confess it to Him first, and then to anyone involved in order to make peace, thus exercising His righteousness in me in the very act of LOVING myself by wasting hopefully no time apart from the Lord. For He cannot be in the fellowship with sin, and the love that He provided in me allows me to jump right back into my fellowship with Him by asking Him for forgiveness and truly thanking Him for forgiving me. It is only in FULL submission of one’s life to our God, Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ the ultimate and perfect love of God towards us can be found and experienced.
Jesus treasured His fellowship and unity with the Father by being continuously in The Holy Spirit, very often escaping the crowds including those that needed Him so desperately to heal them (Luke 5:15-16). Think about it, Jesus as a man while fully God would often leave the people He created in order to be with God The Father through prayer. Jesus was always in communion with The God the Father. As a man, He found it necessary to physically withdraw from other people in order to pray to, and commune with His Father. He put His relationship with the Father first and the work second. Isn’t this an act of the ultimate self loving? And, by the way, What was Jesus’ answer to Judas Iscariot’s rebuke regarding Jesus’ accepting Mary’s washing of His feet with the costly perfume (John 12:3-8)? Her act of worship toward Jesus and the communion with Him was more important to her than selling the perfume and giving the money to the poor. Acknowledging her Savior and what He was about to do for her, was the very act of obedience in exercising the first commandment of loving her God and at the same time loving herself.
Loving others with the same true love that now I am able to love myself is neither popular nor comfortable. Why? Because both, loving myself and others with the love of God is unnatural. We must die to ourselves (in the flesh) in order to truly love in the Spirit of Truth. How can I correct my children when I am worried about what they or others might say, think or do? When I am loving myself in the Lord I am thankful and content because I accept what I need instead of what I want according to the perfect will of God. By putting aside the the natural man in me (dying) I am manifesting the spiritual man through whom the life that the Spirit gives (John 7:38) is flowing like the living water onto others. Moreover, the Holy Spirit does not only give us the truth, but also the discernment of when and how to deliver it in order to ensure the Love, respect and gentleness towards the hearer.