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I don’t need to tell you that we as a nation are in turmoil, and it seems like there is no end to destruction, disunity, hate and death.  However, there is good news.

As I stated in the earlier posts, I will do my best to stay consistent with my commitment to take you only where I have been or on my way to myself. This is not only fair, but necessary in order to overcome my personal hypocrisy of telling you what you should do without providing for my own inward transformation that leads to the outward change into a better me in accordance with the highest standard, which in my case is Jesus, my Messiah.

My Racism:

Thirty years ago, on May 9th, 1990 to be precise, me and my family landed at  JFK airport after leaving the former Soviet Union where I grew up. Stepping onto the American soil for the very first time at the age of  23 years old, I immediately felt very small (literally) and intimidated by everything and everybody around me. All things seem big, the cars (1980’s “boats on wheels”), the sky scrapers and the people. Big, tall and black people were everywhere – something I had not been accustomed to, being raised in white Russia.  Not being able to speak English didn’t help either, and all kinds of fears and unhealthy phobias started to settle in my mind shaping up my deep rejection of all things I didn’t understand and people I could’t relate to.

Years went by, and finally being able to communicate in English with the world around me in this process of assimilation into the culture I was in, I gained a great deal of knowledge about the people I found myself a part of.

Education is not enough

Even though my knowledge and some understanding of the different nationalities, races, groups etc. steadily increased, my comfort level when dealing with people around me decreased. You see, my English skills, naturally good work ethics and a formal professional education have propelled me up the socioeconomic ladder almost overnight. I was soon making a six digit income while married to the love of my life and living in a predominantly white neighborhood in a suburb of Seattle, WA. My socioeconomic status did not bring me a deeper understanding of the issue of racism in America. No matter how much I heard about it on the news, I was able to successfully navigate around it without much trouble. It was always somewhere out there and away. Besides, having escaped the reality of being frequently ridiculed as a child for my darker olive skin tone, thick black wavy hair, the unibrow,  and, as you might have guessed, Jewish parents, I found it easy to blend in in this culture of acceptance (or so I thought) gladly leaving the unpleasant past behind on the other side of the ocean. My natural instinct to avoid anything race related  was effortless as long as I agreed outwardly that racism is wrong and someone should do something about it.

Now looking back, I admit, I was a racist. I would never show it, of course. It was well hidden deep inside. The only times it would raise it’s ugly head was when my fear and judgement filled thought process was exposed and laid bare in front of me by my own guilt that I couldn’t understand let alone do anything about. I thought it didn’t hurt anyone because it was veiled, but I felt ashamed of my inner self, so I guess it hurt me. I had to continue burying it deep, and frankly no matter how much of information or knowledge through the process of education I received it didn’t seem to help. I was full of fear of those that didn’t look like me.

Association?

If I checked myself in a confined space with a group of people with different skin colors from mine and for a long time, I would argue that it still wouldn’t be enough to rehabilitate me. Yes, I could learn how to be more comfortable with those people and even learn how to mimic their behaviors to blend in further. However, I do believe that my fears of skin color and cultural differences that others display could not be eradicated by a mere association. Furthermore, it would easily be replaced by my other fears such as being rejected  by those around me because I am so different from them. That, in turn, would drive me even further away from those that don’t look or behave like me  – natural phenomenon of self preservation.

The Only Answer

Now that we have established the definition in the essence of the true love of God, it is only appropriate to see how it is applied in our every day lives.

Loving yourself and others:

I must wake up every morning knowing that as a believer I am a free child of God through Christ Jesus while equipped with the power of His Holy Spirit who enables me to love God, myself and others with the same love. I am eternally loved, secure and confident in my position in Christ which I can NEVER loose. Nothing can separate me from the love of Christ (Romans 8:35-39), but it is a daily exercise for me to remember my position in order to abide in His love today.

My dear wife who is also my best ever friend pointed out a few days ago that I am way too impatient with myself.  The contrast between all the grace and forgiveness I am able and willing to give others, most of the time, and complete lack of thereof when it comes to my own failings is staggering according to her.  The truth of her statement hit me like a ton of bricks putting my entire being into a halt. I felt speechless, convicted and then thankful that God has given me a suitable helper willing and able to love me enough to tell me the truth. You see, God, out of His infinite love for me, gave me my bride to minister to my needs and me to hers in full accordance with His will. That is why it was not hard for me to swallow my pride that immediately raised its ugly head after being convicted. We both have been learning and practicing God’s unconditional love for ourselves and others and encouraging one another in the process. It is not always easy. In that very moment of conviction I made a conscious decision to love myself by recognizing that it did come from God, and accepting His love in the truth about me. Neither of those things are possible without first, the Holy Spirit’s initiating the message of conviction in love, and second, without the obedience of the messenger and the hearer in the same love while under the power and control of the Holy Spirit.

When abiding in His love I am able to forgive myself in the moment of my weakness. I must accept His grace for myself when I fall. It is not because I view my sin lightly, but because having God’s love in me requires me to forgive me, otherwise, I put myself on the throne of judgement, rendering the blood of Christ ineffective as the payment for my sin, and thus violating Romans 8:35-39 by separating me from the love of Christ. As a mature believer I do not dwell in my sin. I must be diligent in listening to The Holy Spirit’s conviction which prompts me to recognize my sin, confess it to Him first, and then to anyone involved in order to make peace, thus exercising His righteousness in me in the very act of LOVING myself by wasting hopefully no time apart from the Lord. For He cannot be in the fellowship with sin, and the love that He provided in me allows me to jump right back into my fellowship with Him by asking Him for forgiveness and truly thanking Him for forgiving me. It is only in FULL submission of one’s life to our God, Savior and Lord, Jesus Christ the ultimate and perfect love of God towards us can be found and experienced.  

Jesus treasured His fellowship and unity with the Father by being continuously in The Holy Spirit, very often escaping the crowds including those that needed Him so desperately to heal them (Luke 5:15-16).  Think about it, Jesus as a man while fully God would often leave the people He created in order to be with God The Father through prayer. Jesus was always in communion with The God the Father. As a man, He found it necessary to physically withdraw from other people in order to pray to, and commune with His Father. He put His relationship with the Father first and the work second. Isn’t this an act of the ultimate self loving? And, by the way, What was Jesus’ answer to Judas Iscariot’s rebuke regarding Jesus’ accepting Mary’s washing of His feet with the costly perfume (John 12:3-8)? Her act of worship toward Jesus and the communion with Him was more important to her than selling the perfume and giving the money to the poor. Acknowledging her Savior and what He was about to do for her, was the very act of obedience in exercising the first commandment of loving her God and at the same time loving herself.

Loving others with the same true love that now I am able to love myself is neither popular nor comfortable. Why? Because both, loving myself and others with the love of God is unnatural. We must die to ourselves (in the flesh) in order to truly love in the Spirit of Truth. How can I correct my children when I am worried about what they or others might say, think or do? When I am loving myself in the Lord I am thankful and content because I accept what I need instead of what I want according to the perfect will of God. By putting aside the the natural man in me (dying) I am manifesting the spiritual man through whom the life that the Spirit gives (John 7:38) is flowing like the living water onto others.  Moreover, the Holy Spirit does not only give us the truth, but also the discernment of when and how to deliver it in order to ensure the Love, respect and gentleness towards the hearer.

The Solution

In this post I will do my best to expose what the Scriptures really say about the true love. Please make sure to read the Part 1 first.

First, let us examine our human capability to truly love on our own. In order for us to do so we must first understand who and where we are on our own without knowing God in His Son, Christ Jesus, and without the the power of the Holy Spirit.  

“Then the Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intent of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually.” Genesis 6:5

“Every one of them has turned aside; together they have become corrupt; there is no one who does good, not even one.” Psalm 53:3 and Romans 3:12.

“As it is written: there is no one righteous, no, not one.” Romans 3:10, Psalms 14:1-3, 53:1-3, Ecclesiastes 7:20.

“For all of us have become like one who is unclean, and all our righteous deeds are like a filthy garment; and all of us wither like a leaf, and our iniquities, like the wind, take us away.” Isaiah 64:6.

And finally, Jesus said, “But I know you, that you do not have the love of God in you.” John 5:42.

Based on these verses the human heart is inherently and increasingly wicked – also known as the curse that took place after the fall described in Genesis 3. As the result of the fall, the fellowship with God was broken, and without Him the inevitable state of the spiritual and physical corruption of the humanity has permeated throughout the generations creating an enormous void that only God Himself can fill.  God in His abundant mercy and grace provided us with an escape plan, but at a great cost, not to us, but to Himself – that He would climb on the cross taking the sins of the entire world upon Himself, and give His life for yours and mine as a payment in accordance with His law. He didn’t stop there. He came alive on the third day to pave the way to the sweet salvation from death and the way home to Himself. If that weren’t gifting enough, He provided us with God, The Holy Spirit, who would indwell in those who believe for eternity. And the purpose of that was to equip us with the faith to go on, the strength to endure, the light to persevere, the wisdom to discern,  and the love to give away.

You see, we do not posses any of these things on our own. God, in His infinite wisdom had to give us Himself, who is love, in order for us to be able to love Him and the people He created. Only then we are able to see our fellow human being through the eyes of the Creator who is in us. Only in Christ Jesus such a marvelous thing is possible, and only in believing in Him our fellowship can be forever restored.

How do we then define that which we do on our own without God, you ask? Our actions and thoughts based on our own “righteousness” are as filthy rags to God. In Isaiah 64:6 the Hebrew translation of the expression filthy rags or garments is female menstrual garments. According to what God is saying here no matter what it is that we do on our own including so called “loving” another human and even to the point of sacrificing our own life for them is just that, filthy rags to God.

How can I be? Simple, nothing can earn us a place in heaven with God Almighty without us excepting the ultimate sacrifice of His Son, Jesus Christ, and that means fully surrendering our lives to the Lord. Even when we are saved and make a decision to sacrifice our life for another person based on our own will, without God asking us to do so, we are still saved, but gain nothing, and no more righteousness is credited to us regardless of our noble intent.

It is only by His faith, righteousness and love, and in full obedience to His will while being controlled by His Holy Spirit we are able to please God, and therefore earn heavenly rewards or crowns.

No matter how difficult the task is that He is asking you to perform, He views you as a victor already. Why?  Because God never asks us to do anything he hasn’t already provided for for us to succeed. The only question is, will we out of obedience exercise the faith He has given us to complete what He asks us to do?  Loving Him and the people around us is His command, and the completion of it has been provided for. If we would just quit worrying about the outcome, and instead focus on Him and our walk, step by step, the rest is guaranteed, but remember always, outcome according to His will, and not ours.

Love is perhaps one of the most difficult tasks when it come to loving those who deserve wrath in every aspect possible. Especially when we are so certain that we will be trampled upon, ridiculed, laughed at, or even insulted. What about loving someone who has completely drained your trust account, and feeling like a “prophet” effortlessly predicting the adverse outcome of your love you conclude, why even bother?

That is precisely why God gave us His immeasurable love which we can use over and over again and never run out of it. Our main goal in life must be to gradually learn how to love unconditionally and continuously, and that is only possible by allowing for spiritually maturity to take place in us through the ever increasing knowledge of The Holy One. And that is only possible by studying His Word and living it out.  The more we learn about who God is, the longer we walk in His Spirit, and the shorter our time spent in the flesh becomes – working out our salvation (Philippians 2:12).

Now that we have established our inherent inability to truly love God and people without Him providing us with His love first, let us look at the process of receiving and successfully / faithfully exercising the love of God.

1.   Personal acceptance of the love of God in Christ Jesus – Salvation

First, we must receive the love of God from Him by the Holy Spirit who pours it out in our hearts after we receive the Holy Spirit at salvation. In Romans 5:5 Paul says, “....and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.”

Now because of the salvation not only we are provided with the ability to grow in the knowledge of God, but also now we are known by God. Of course, God knows all of His creation better than anyone. However, it is only through salvation one can be known intimately by God. Otherwise why would Jesus say that some who will call him Lord will not enter the kingdom of heaven? They will be rejected by Christ himself who said, “I will declare to them, I never knew you; depart from me, you who practice lawlessness”. (Matthew 7:22-23).

In contrast, Paul lets us know in 2 Thessalonians 2:10 that those that perish are and will be greatly deceived “because they did not receive the love of the truth so as to be saved”.

2.  Love your God

It is interesting that the first commandment to love our God is impossible to exercise without first receiving the love of God from Him as we just laid out above. It is in His abound grace and mercy He provided us with His own love in order to love Him back, and truly nothing less of that love will ever be excepted by Him.

How are we to love God? “With all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). And again, it is only possible when God owns your heart, your soul and your mind.

3.  Love your neighbor as yourself.

There is a reason why the second commandment is second. It is impossible for us to truly love any human being without knowing God and loving Him back exercising the first commandment first.

How do we actually do it? Please follow me in this logic: according to the second commandment, we must love others as ourselves. If that is true, then I need to learn how to love me first. Not only that, but if I want to love someone more, than I must love me more. I know, it does sound kind of selfish, but is it?

Recently I picked up a Christian book on marriage, my most favorite subject, and reading through the first few pages of the book I stumbled upon the phrase, “you must love yourself less in order to love others more”. Sounds very noble and selfless, but according to the first and second commandment it is not entirely true and can be very misleading and detrimental to our loving of others. As a physical location is of a paramount significance when it comes to investing into a real estate in order to maximize the returns, so are the definitions are vital when it comes to identifying the truth about who we are and how we ought to act according to the word of God. Let us not be confused about this.

If I am saved, and God, the Holy Spirit, takes the permanent residence in me pouring out His love in my heart to love Him back, then I am now able to love me with that same love. My ability to love me according to the Holy Scriptures will grow as my knowledge about God grows. Loving myself with the love of God is always in accordance with the will of God, and therefore without any trace of selfish ambition or any desires of my flesh which is based on lust of the flesh against which the Holy Scriptures so adamantly warn us. Please see John 6:63; Romans 8:4-6, 9, 13; Galatians 5:13,16,17; Galatians 6:8.

Loving ourselves according to God’s will and with His true love is neither easy nor instant upon the salvation, but rather, as a part of our spiritual growth, when walking with God, under the control of the Holy Spirit and while focusing on Jesus, we are more accepting of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness and love for ourselves. Only then we are able to experience and hang on to our contentment, peace, joy and security in who we are in Christ Jesus, so that we are able to love others.

The unconditional and eternal love of God in Christ for you is learned and practiced with time and can never be a point of arrival. It is the product of working out of your salvation that eliminates fear that we are not enough, not worthy, or a failure.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”, Galatians 5:1. Only when I am free from any fear, I can truly love anyone with the same love that I am loved by my Creator Who so abundantly poured out His love in my heart.  Anything less than that is not of God, and therefore not the true love.

Stay tuned for Part 3 where we will discuss the practical implementation of the true love for those around us.

Often times I would get stuck trying to answer the question, what is love? Oh, I know I’m not the only one. Pondering about why so often I acted in a very loveless way towards others, I realized that I had no idea what the true love really was. As I stated in my earlier posts, I believe that all the answers to all of our questions can be found in the word of God, and therefore, I will do my best to answer that question by exposing what the Lord showed me in His scriptures regarding this matter.

It is impossible for us to love unconditionally and therefore continuously unless we consider the source and truly understand and adhere to the definition of love that God himself in accordance with His divine nature set for us.

I’m going to make a statement, and you may not like it, but be patient and continue reading, and it will make sense, I promise. Here it is:

You (on your own) don’t have true love and, therefore, you cannot love God and the people He created.

But wait a minute, you might say, I love my spouse, my children, my friends and those around me. Really? When was the last time that one of them did or said something that provoked in you anger, judgment, resentment, harsh words, bitterness, detachment or any unwholesome thought process about that person? Did you feel violated as if someone ripped that so called love out of your heart leaving a gushing wound that you are patching up with the bandage of pride and unforgiving attitude? Even after they asked for forgiveness to bring about the reconciliation, you are not willing to let go of your pride bandage to allow your emotional wound to heal. Think of the situations when they did not come back to make it right. Then what? What happened to your love for them then? I can come up with a myriad of examples showing our lack of true love, an so can you, I am sure.

We find it extremely hard to love others including our own family when they wrong us in any way. Even our own children whether they are little or grown lose our so called love after an act of disobedience or any kind of wrongdoing on their part.

I believe that not understanding what true love is in its essence according to God’s word, we tend to find ourselves in this state of emotional roller coaster switching from “love” or mere affection to indignation and back to affection based solely on conditions of how we are treated. After a while, having to switch back-and-forth long enough, it is almost inevitable for us to grow indifferent towards those around us including our own children, spouse, friends and others. I am not even mentioning a complete stranger that we are so eager to avoid because of their appearance or behavior.

What about our love for God? We treat Him exactly the same as if He were just another human. Our jigsaw- like “love” relationship with the Lord ends up being full of frustration, and our walk with Christ becomes just another heavy burden in the already ever increasing load of unfulfilled relationships that seams impossible to carry, and we give up. We rationalize going to church as “doing it for the kids” who, seeing our hypocrisy, inconsistency and the lack of unconditional love for the body of believers (whole another topic) and God Himself, leave the church making it easier for us to ultimately withdraw from the body of Christ completely. We then fully plug back into the world and whatever it has to offer, and our state is even worse than ever before.

The very notion of the unconditional love has become completely unattainable in our minds, something so high and distant to reach that we regard it as impossible. The very idea that someone in our midst can love unconditionally has become a delusion on their part and flat out lie. Only God is able to love unconditionally, we rationalize in our minds, and therefore, we settle for a perverse version of love which is not love at all, but rather a counterfeit substitute for that which has been freely given to us by our Lord. We allow the world to dictate what love is and not realizing that any deviation from understanding and practicing the true love has already lead us to where we are now in our relationship with God and those around us.

I want to encourage you that there is a sure way out of this rather painful and unfulfilling existence which is exactly where the evil one wants us to be in order to render us ineffective.
My question to you is, are you ready for a monumental transformation and willing to walk through the change in how you see God and people?

If the answer is yes, then stay tuned for the part two of this message in which I will show you where the unconditional and true love is  and how to use it. Are you excited? I know I am.

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Galatians 2:20

“Not many of you should become teachers my brothers and sisters, because you know that we will be judged more strictly” – James 3:13

Often times we feel like teaching others “the ways of the Lord”, giving them a biblical instruction or wisdom without even considering what it is that we are embarking upon. Other times, we readily offer a prayer for someone, their situation, circumstance, hardship or even loss without considering whether God will hear our prayers. Bear with me here, there is a point to this. What about those of us “feeling” moved to start a Bible study or even become a discipler of others?

We are way too eager to discharge the received biblical knowledge without a full understanding of its meaning and purpose for ourselves first even when inspired by our “best intentions”, and there lies the problem the Holy Scriptures warn us about. You see, regardless of how “good” our intent may seem, it will always fall short of fully benefiting us and others unless our intentions and actions are totally aligned with the will of the Holy Spirit.

Allow me to explain. Our own intentions (James 3:14) are often based on jealousy and / or selfish ambition to rush to remove a speck from our brother’s eye while disregarding the log in our own eye (Matthew 7:3).

It is a natural inclination to discharge a knowledge or a revelation to someone. Jesus tells us to check our life first to see if the same sin or a shortcoming is not being practiced by us. We must apply the wisdom of the word of God to ourselves first in order for a transformation to take place in our souls (Romans 2:21) to ensure a continues change (Romans 12:2) in us while striving to become more like Jesus who does not change. Paul makes it his priority to make sure that the church of Corinth know about his way of disciplining his own body in order to not be disqualified (1 Corinthians 9:27) when preaching to others.  We must follow Paul’s example.

Peter reveals the purpose of a Christian life which is to suffer as Christ did (1Peter 4:1-2) in order to experience the transformation in ourselves that results and perseverance, character and ultimately love for others.  The same love according to Paul (Galatians 5:22-23) is the good fruit that produces joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control, some of the attributes of God himself. These attributes are then manifested in us as a result of our personal transformation where there is less of us in more of Jesus, and therefore, our counseling of others is beneficial not only to those whom we are helping, but also to ourselves.  When fruitful in this way, we are praised by God and man and are justified when we speak (Romans 3:4).

Our prime example is Jesus, who was a perfect man and God at the same time, yet He had to undergo perfection (Hebrews 5:9) in the flesh in order to become the righteous and the highest priest going through more than what we will ever go through. What does it say about us? As a mortal man, Peter did not understand the necessity of our perfect Savior’s perfecting, and therefore,  was rebuked by Jesus when the disciple objected to Jesus’ death on the cross – the ultimate act of perfection (Matthew 16:22–23).

If you consider yourself a teacher, then ask yourself these questions: 

 1. Is there any unconfessed and/or habitual sin in your life?

2.  Are you holding something against your brother or sister, or they have something against you without you taking appropriate steps towards the resolution and ultimately reconciliation with that person (Matthew 5:24).

3. Is there any self-serving attitude in instructing others (James 3:14,16)?

If the answer is “no” to all of these questions, then being controlled by the Holy Spirit, it is no longer you who speak, remain silent or whatever you do. It is rather the Holy Spirit of God according to the will of God ministers through you to those whom He puts in front of you. For “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:8). Therefore,”… If anyone does not stumble in what they say, he is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body” – only possible when controlled by the Holy Spirit who lives in us and controls our self – the true definition of self control in a life of a Christian. 

 My brothers and sisters, those of us who have received the gift of teaching, preaching and discipling are commanded to lead the way in conquering our flesh by dying daily (1 Corinthians 15:31). Only then we are effective in instructing others. 

Stay tuned!